As much as i want ..

08 January 2016 

I email him . I wanted to know if he's okay . Like i said earlier that i really miss him and i worried about him .So then he replied me on that day . Telling me that he's okay and he want to change to be a better muslim . He just need time and space. And he also told me that if he's ready , then he will find for me . And if we have fate to be together then it will be .

Hmm.. yeah i understand his situation right now. As much i wanted to contact him, meet him ..but i know i can't . I need to give him time and space for him and maybe its good for me too. So that i can also learn to improve myself in anyways and be a better person.

I feel sad to be in our separate ways. But minds over body and hearts want what it want . But we have mind to think further and not just do things by just following our own feelings. Even though its hard but it is for our own goods .To think further before we do anything . The results may not show it now but it will in the future . In Syaa Allah .

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I'm not use to be without him . He always there for me and I never feel alone. He is there for me to share anything and it has become a routine to listen to  his stories almost everyday .But now I can't sure when can I hear it again .

I know i can't keep the feeling of sadness in myself, I want to let it out but I don't want to share this to anyone that i know cause they surely will ask me alot of questions. This is why I share this is my blog . To let out of my thoughts and feelings.

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As much I wanted to keep it from my family about my feelings right now. Somehow my mum will surely know that there is something wrong. I bet she feel it . She asked my why and am I okay. Maybe I'm obvious or she knows. I trying to act normal as if nothing wrong that happening lately. So I  keep my mouth shut and  hoping everything will be okay .

I want it to be okay sooner so that everything will be back to normal. Me and him ,together like we always do. But I know it can't be rush . Anything needs time. 

That's why, everything we do , we need to think before we act on it . So we not regret it. 

I made mistake, I regret , I learnt from it and change it to be better .