Worth the wait

Its been awhile since the last time i post this blog. Everything are going so well and i am so happy with my life.

So the 8 months tht i didn't see and talk to him has ended.Actually it ended a month ago . So we started talking on the 1st september . Of coz he is the one who start the conversation and  I am so so so happy tht we are back together . Alhamdulilah .The wait are really worth it because i got back my man .hehe.

Let me update my life . Now i'm currently unemployed because I've ended my work life(for now) on 31st September and I'm gonna persue my studies  . Taking Diploma in I.T and the class will start on 17 October 2016. Wuu 1 more week . So fast .

Ok i should probably get to sleep now. Goodnight.

"Do not waste time in life "

Goodnight

Feeling good

14 Aug 2016

My looks for today

  

It feels so good to go out somewhere that I've never been before  . It has been a while since the last time I went around in Malaysia without my family and went to the places besides Aeon , Tesco and Giant. I love to go out explore new places and try new things . 

 So today I went out for lunch with my colleague and her family. They were very kind to fetch me from my house and bring me to one of this stall that sells  Indo foods like Mee Bakso and Ayam Penyet. Then we found out the stall that are near to my  house were close on Sunday . Then she decided to go the one that are near to Angsana shopping mall.

So I ordered Mee Ayam Bakso and Teh Ice . It taste great. And I also tried the Satay Padang . Spicy..but taste delicious .I love the gravy and the chicken .Then we went to Aeon to buy some groceries then she sent me home. 

I thought things like this would not happen again .Like going out in Malaysia with my friend and try new foods.Cause the last time I have a neighbor who are Singaporean and they like to bring me around Malaysia to try cheap and good foods. It was back in 2014 & 2015 where I get to explore to new places that i have never been to . I went to Pasar Pandan ,Dangga Bay and more . We went holiday together , watch movies , did activities together , went for breakfast , lunch and dinner.. it was so much fun . And I miss all of it. So they went back to their old house . Back to Singapore and another one back to Australia. 

Even though I just went out for lunch with my colleague .but for me it feels great to be able to go out again in Malaysia and explore and try something new . Rather then staying at home. But I still love staying home alone tho. Doing laundry , did some home chores watch Youtube videos have some alone time.Sometimes i did went out with my family after work or on the weekend.

But my favorite  will be going out exploring , see the world , walk , sweat ..cause it make me feel healthy and it is good to have fun outside. Cause went i'm tired walking and all . At night its easier for me to go to sleep . And just feels great. Hopefully things like this occur more often.

Till then .. Goodnight ;)

Its hard for me to forget the person that really mean alot to me.Sometimes I felt like i really need to let it go .But its so hard for me. I tried but it keep turning back .I don't know why but sometimes I feel that he is inside of me.Inside of my heart. Lock and safe in there. Sometimes I felt like he is always there talking to me. It seems like I really can't forget about him .5 years .
5 years I've been with him.Its a long period of time. Alot of things we have went through .I miss him . There is a time I imagine what if one day he msg me .tell me that he miss me too.but it just my imagination.but if it were to happen.I'll be the most happiest person.

But I don't know .idk if he's still have a feeling towards me or not.if he can accept me for who I am without asking me to change to be a different person.I want someone to love me for me .not changing me to be the one that I'm not.I know I should not put hopes. I just wish we can back together again like we used to be. If he's move on .tell me.so it be easier or it will help me to not have feeling towards him anymore.

But I think for now I should just focus for my future and improve to be a better person.

If he is not for me .I accept it and moving on.If yes then I'm happy of course.

Yeah so thats all. Just hoping for the better. IN SYAA ALLAH.Amin.

goodnight 🌌

😌

Slowly it will fade away ..

Reminder to myself

Lesson learnt for the month of June .

1)Not to trust people easily.

2)Sometimes we need to put ourself first before others.

3)Don't easily fall for people.

4)Be positve for things that happen. Cause maybe better things might be coming.

Be strong. In Syaa Allah everything will be okay and better. Goodnight😉🌌

Alhamdulilah . I feel really happy with my work , my work place and all .

I just HATE it

I hate it so much

When someone came into my life. Entered my heart , took my heart and ripped it off. Like wth must u do that to me. Don't dare to come in my life and do that. I hate it. PLUS my heart is already broken .Someone made a hole in heart. Then I fixed it . But there still a scars .

So i moving on after healing it . Then some came in my life and made it better. But does not stayed long enough.  And just left me hanging and made me confuse .

I thought i have a chance to be happy again .To be someone that can make me happy .but it just make it worse.

Made me not to be in love all over again . I felt like they take me for granted.not appreciated .

I felt hopeless. I felt heart broken.
I should not trust anyone. It just make me hurt.

I know that the new someone and me do not have any attachment. Not in relationship. But that person gave me hope .and the one that giving ,are the one who crush it.

I don't care if tht person do not like me or not.but do not give hope at the first place. And i know i shouldn't put hopes on him..but don't just ignore me.ignore my messages. It just hurt to be ignored.Atleast give me some explanation .

Hais.. I'm tired. I'm tired with all this bullshit. This thing should be stop and not to be repeated.

That's it . I'm done.Its enough. I don't want to be hurt anymore. I should Be more Careful . I should stop being too nice to people.coz the one that I cared too much are the one who hurts me the most.

They are not worth to be cared for.Sometimes I need to be selfish .To care for ownself. Put myself first before others.Learn to love myself first.To care for my own heart.and I don't want to hurt myself anymore.

Its more than enough .

Learnt.move on . And improve.


That's it.

Goodnight.

To the Galaxy🌌

Things to do .

Making my self happy/busy.

So besides 5 days a week working days (Sometime 6 if I want to do OT on Saturday) I want to make one or two days of a ME time.

So here a list of things that I want to do.

Saturday(if I'm not working)

Its a day for me to make things done .

-doing the laundary

-clean up my room , my kitchen and my living room .

-mop &sweep the floor

-give food , change water and litter for the cats

-do some workout/yoga

Then.. I watch videos go to social media.


Then Sunday

-continue doing the balance of laudary

-cleaning

-give food ,drinks and change litter for cats

-do more workout

-read books

-gain some knowledge

-go to social media.

And thats it for the weekend.




Really need to pull myself up . Improve .
Reminding myself not to care for someone that does not care for me and something that just gonna waste my time or hurt my feelings even more.

So yeah that's about it. Gooooooooodnight 🌉n sweetdreams🌌

Hate it.

Tk suke bile kte da rse yg kte ni da move  on . Da boleh terima . Da happy. Tpi .. bile kte jatuh kt that  one big hole , rse susah nk bgn kn diri balik .teringt kn balik time mase2 bahagia then rse bnde tu tk jdi lgi kt diri kte.pstu teringt kate2 n bnde2 sedeh tros rse sedeh. Rse mcm woah beza nye dulu ngn skrg. Dulu kte ade ngn org yg kte syg . Skrg bile tkde.... cm macam mane nk biasekn diri  .kdg2 tu boleh lh  tk ingtkn sngt tntg perkara2 yg menyedih kn . Then bile da rse sunyi .. mcm2 yg timbul .

Tpi tkplh doakn yg baik2 saje. Fikirkn yg baik2 saje. Kuatkn diri , memperbaiki diri  dan mudah2han yg baik akn dtg pade diri kte. In Syaa Allah amin. 

Happy moment :)

Alhamdulilah 

Wow ! I can't believe that I've passed my Entrance Test for MDIS. whuup whuup! 

I received a call yesterday from kak Lisa . (She is the senior consultant at MDIS)

At that time I just reach Aeon mall and I received call from Singapore. So i picked up and I thought that is from my work agent that I just interview. Then she said that I passed my Maths test,good its 33/50 and passed my English test which is 70/100 . Wow I thought that I would fail my English test because the test is confusing for me . Need the real focus on that time but I did not cause I want to go to the toilet and I cannot pause my time. So I just did my best . Alhamdulilah . Thankfully I manage to finish it and score ! Yay ! I love this good news.So 1 mission accomplished . Going to the next mission . Which is to get a job so that I can save up to pay my first installment for my enrollment . 

I received a message from my work agent to come for interview tomorrow.Hopefully tomorrow went well .

In Syaa Allah ,Amin!

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4 more days to go!

Upcoming Test.. 

aaaah!  Entrance test for less than a week . 

So on the 17th of January 2016 I've applied for Diploma in Information Technologies in MDIS .I've failed my English n Maths O'level results , so I need to take their entrance test which are  English and Maths. Then I told them that I will take the test on 28th January .Both subject on the same day . I'm not sure what to study for that . I just read essays in my O levels essay models book. They gave me sample of the Entrance Test . I read thru it and I've tried the maths question . Mostly it was easy but I hope it will on the day itself. I hope the test went well on the actual day so that I can enter the School of I.T . They give 3 times to take the test. If not well , we can retake . But of course I want to pass so I don't need to retake.

So that's about it . Bye !

Ahh ! I have no idea what happen with blog . My picture and my post has just mixed up .
I don't know what to do to solve this problem . I try to  figure it out later .

Okay so now I want to reflect back what have I done today that does not waste my time.

Productive things I did :

1- Doing the laundry.

2-I cooked . yes I can cook. hehe just instant fried noodles and then I fried chickens :D Yummy (But now I hungry)

3- I cleaned my cats room . Yes I have cats and they have their own room . I gave them foods and changing up their drinks then I put them all in their cage so that I mop the floor . Now their room smell good and their floor sparkling.

4- I washed my shoe and let it dry outside.

5- Cleaned my kitchen and dining table :D

Then my brother made a messed -_-

Haiss .. and I 'm not bother to clean it up again.

Yeah that's all I did .

So this is how my cats sleep.

 Okay , Goodnight:)

Changes

Changing ma looks ;)

This is me with my mum actually .We're at Jem mall , eating Mee Rebus before I go to work. Taken in 2015.

And this is me still at home , taking picture before going out with my family . This taken in January 2016 . 



I'm changing my hijab look , making my face rounder and before this I'm used to wear dark colors . So now I'm decided to wear bright colors to brighten up my day :)

As much as i want ..

08 January 2016 

I email him . I wanted to know if he's okay . Like i said earlier that i really miss him and i worried about him .So then he replied me on that day . Telling me that he's okay and he want to change to be a better muslim . He just need time and space. And he also told me that if he's ready , then he will find for me . And if we have fate to be together then it will be .

Hmm.. yeah i understand his situation right now. As much i wanted to contact him, meet him ..but i know i can't . I need to give him time and space for him and maybe its good for me too. So that i can also learn to improve myself in anyways and be a better person.

I feel sad to be in our separate ways. But minds over body and hearts want what it want . But we have mind to think further and not just do things by just following our own feelings. Even though its hard but it is for our own goods .To think further before we do anything . The results may not show it now but it will in the future . In Syaa Allah .

.......................................................................................................................

I'm not use to be without him . He always there for me and I never feel alone. He is there for me to share anything and it has become a routine to listen to  his stories almost everyday .But now I can't sure when can I hear it again .

I know i can't keep the feeling of sadness in myself, I want to let it out but I don't want to share this to anyone that i know cause they surely will ask me alot of questions. This is why I share this is my blog . To let out of my thoughts and feelings.

........................................................................................................................

As much I wanted to keep it from my family about my feelings right now. Somehow my mum will surely know that there is something wrong. I bet she feel it . She asked my why and am I okay. Maybe I'm obvious or she knows. I trying to act normal as if nothing wrong that happening lately. So I  keep my mouth shut and  hoping everything will be okay .

I want it to be okay sooner so that everything will be back to normal. Me and him ,together like we always do. But I know it can't be rush . Anything needs time. 

That's why, everything we do , we need to think before we act on it . So we not regret it. 

I made mistake, I regret , I learnt from it and change it to be better . 

Reallyreally loving this picture. Taken by my special someone . #photoshootday #byNT

07 January 2016

The first time me and my special someone met for this year. 
We met and something unexpected occur . Something that i never imagine to be happen.For some reason it just happen all out  sudden . Then he accompany me to Watsons HQ cause i need to give back their belonging. Then we went to SGH , for him to check his BP and heart. Its normal , thankfully .We talked and we wave for goodbye .He need to go home and I need to meet my mother at 5. So everything went so quickly . We decided to take a break and we broke up.My dream to see him for his graduation day, can't be make it.I miss him. I really do . I don't know what will happen next. I really wanted to see him again . But I don't know. I hope he's okay . I'm so worried about him but nothing much I can do . Hopefully time heals everything. It takes time to recover the situation . Probably months or years. Whatever happen , I just pray that we can talk , meet and be together again .

In Syaa Allah.